


You Lead Me Deeper Through This Maze

by brokenhighways



Series: Happy Endings [4]
Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Angsty Schmoop, Jealousy, M/M, Weddings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-01
Updated: 2014-02-01
Packaged: 2018-01-10 20:36:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,745
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1164265
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brokenhighways/pseuds/brokenhighways
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After a tense, uncomfortable conversation with Chad, Jared's forced to open his eyes and be honest with himself.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You Lead Me Deeper Through This Maze

**Author's Note:**

> Continuation of: No Matter What It Takes | I Can Feel Your Heartbeat Slowing Down | I Will Never Let You Go

**You Lead Me Deeper Through This Maze**

Jared gets lumbered with the task of getting Chad up to Wisconsin for Sandy’s wedding. Katie and Aldis are driving with Danneel and Chris and Jensen is flying out because he has an important meeting that’ll run late. It’s only a two hour drive, but that’s still two hours longer than Jared can handle being in a contained space with Chad -- call it trauma from the unfortunate time when they were college roommates. Chad arrives at Jared’s apartment an hour later than planned, with McDonald’s soda and a gross looking burger.

“None of that is coming into my car,” Jared says. Technically, it’s not just his car because he and Jensen used to share one on account of Jared not really needing it all that often. Jared is choosing to ignore the fact that he’s going to have to drive Jensen back home. “Also, where’s your luggage? You’re going to at least need a suit.” For reasons unbeknown to Jared, Sandy had asked him to officiate her wedding. It was probably going to be an unmitigated disaster on the basis of that alone.

Fifty minutes later has Jared revising his opinion. There will be no wedding, due the Chad’s imminent death.

“Chad, can you just shut up for five seconds,” Jared says. “Please.”

“What’s your issue, man?” Chad replies. “You’ve been pissy all day. Is it something to do with Jensen? Are you upset because of all of that wedding…stuff.”

“No,” Jared lies glumly. It wasn’t that he was _upset_ , he was just annoyed that he couldn’t stop thinking about what his and Jensen’s wedding would have been like if he hadn’t bottled it. Chad raises an eyebrow and Jared relents. “Fine. I am. But I don’t want to talk about it, especially not with you.”

Chad leans back and puts his feet on the dash, “I thought that you and Jensen were sorting things out. What’s the deal there?” Jared waits until he can bring the car to a halt, and yanks Chad’s legs down.

“Like you care,” he mutters.

“Great, so now you’re pissed at _me_ ,” Chad exclaims. “What did I do?”

“Nothing, I just think it’s rich that you want to talk after three months of treating me like a leper while I paid most of the rent.” Jared says. Chad starts to deny it but Jared cuts him off. “I spoke to the landlord when he came calling about the _three_ months of rent that you owed him, so don’t even think about lying.”

“Nobody asked you to pay it,” Chad grumbles. “And yeah, okay, I haven’t exactly been the best friend lately it’s just...I was mad at you for ruining our group, man. Especially when you and Jensen quite clearly still love each other. And...I guess…”

“What?” Jared says, anger slowly receding. Hearing Chad sound so serious makes him think that he’s screwed up as well.

Chad shrugs. “I guess I was pissed that you didn’t come and talk to me when you were having doubts. I know why you wouldn’t tell the others - none of those assholes can keep a secret, but we’ve always had each other’s backs. It sucked.”

“I’m sorry,” Jared replies. “I didn’t think that you’d care.”

“Whatever, we’re cool,” Chad says. “Let’s go back to talking about you and Jensen. Are you getting back together?”

“What?” Jared says, thrown by the abrupt subject change. “No. I don’t know. I think we’re doing the friends thing and we’ll see what happens after that.”

“Right,” Chad says. “Friends. Can’t you just get back together and agree to do couples therapy or something. I mean, why did you even call off the wedding anyway?”

The million-dollar question, and quite frankly, one that Jared was tired of answering.

Chad continues talking when he sees that Jared is in no rush to answer. “I mean, yeah you said all that stuff about Jensen not being around and feeling neglected, but I know that wasn’t it, not really. You know how Jensen feels about you, we all do.”

“Do I?” Jared asks. They’re in a line of traffic and from the looks of things they won’t be moving anytime soon. “I mean, look at my parents. They were together twenty years and then bam - divorce. I don’t - didn’t - want that to happen to us. How can anyone be sure that a year or two from now, he won’t find someone else, the person that he really belongs with?”

“Oh yeah, and who’s _always_ been that person for you?” Chad’s question is blunt and to the point, and almost rhetorical.

“That’s not the point I was making,” Jared says. Chad puts his feet back up on the dash.

“Me, me, me, me,” Chad says wistfully. “That’s all I ever hear from you. _You_ had to break up with Jensen, it’s _your_ fault, _you_ might not be the person he belongs with, _you_ don’t know how to deal with the fact that _you_ left him, you’re upset because _you_ helped drive a wedge in the middle of our group. Maybe you should try shutting the fuck up and putting yourself in someone else’s shoes for a damn minute.”

“Chad--”

“No, let me finish,” Chad continues. The serious look on his face tells Jared that this is going to be _good_. “You are the most self-centered person I know, and I get that you’re not doing it on purpose but your little pity party is getting old. Just grow up and decide what you want because Jensen’s not going to sit around and wait for you forever.”

They spend the rest of the ride in silence.

~

Jared’s still stewing over the conversation when he heads out to pick Jensen later that evening, mourning the fact the he hadn’t even been able to get drunk along with the rest of his friends and forget about the conversation. Still at least he had a clear head for the ride to the airport. Was he really self-centered? He didn’t think that he was. He plans on asking Jensen because he does know him better than the rest of the guys; Chad included. Though he’s pretty sure that Jensen would have told him if he thought Jared was self-involved, he’s not the kind of guy to hold back.

Jared’s plans are crushed squarely when he pulls to a halt outside of the airport and spots Jensen standing there chatting to none other than Justin Hartley. Jensen’s old roommate and sort-of-ex. They’re laughing and smiling at each other and Jared’s reminded that they actually parted on good terms and are _friends_. For now at least -- and dammit, he’s _not_ going to let Chad’s words get to him. Nor does he have any right to feel jealous, but he’s been in this position enough times to see the hot, dark pit in his stomach for what it is.

“Jared, you remember Justin, right?” Jensen says with a huge grin. Jared misses being the one to make him smile like that--and crap, dammit, _fuck_ Chad for worming his way to Jared’s head so well. “Turns out that Sandy invited him to the wedding. He flew in all the way from England.” Jared nods at Justin and turns to get back into the car so they don’t see his eye roll.

The drive back to the hotel is nothing short of a nightmare. Jensen sits in the back and spends most of it catching up with Justin while Jared listens in on them like he’s some sort of a nosy cab-driver. And then to make things worse, Justin goes and asks about _their_ wedding, because he apparently didn’t get the memo.

“Uh,” Jensen says, silent for the first time since he got in the car.

“We’re not married yet.” Jared’s tone is steely and hostile but he can’t quite help himself.

“Oh, I thought I heard something like that but I dismissed it as being a rumour,” Justin replies, all white-teeth and all American good looks. Jared is not fooled by his appealing exterior. “Always thought that you two were perfect for each other.”

Jared can’t help replaying his conversation with Chad over when they spend the rest of _this_ ride in silence.

~

The next morning, Jared goes to talk to Jensen. He’d managed to get Jensen moved into another room across the landing. He knocks on the door and gives the hallway a cursory glance as he waits for a response. The door opens audibly and Jared turns around to see...Justin Hartley. Standing in Jensen’s doorway.

“Uh, is Jensen in here? I need to talk to him.” Jared can hear the awkward, stilted tone in his own voice but there is nothing he can do about it. That feeling is back in his stomach again and it takes a lot of willpower for him to not just punch Justin’s stupid, smug face.

“He’s in the shower at the moment.” Justin smirks and Jared counts to ten in his head. Jensen could be in the shower for a number of reasons, the same way his ex could also be in his room for a whole fucking litany of reasons but Jared finally loses his cool and sees red.

He takes a step forward, so that he’s close to towering over Justin but not quite there. “Don’t think I don’t know what you’re doing, Justin. He’s not going to sleep with you so you might as well just quit while you’re ahead.”

“Like I did with you?” Justin says snidely. “Are you still not over that?” Jared laughs harshly. It’s classic Justin for him to reinvent the truth in a way that fits his purpose. Though, Jared probably wouldn’t want anyone to know if he’d accidentally set up his boyfriend with someone else. Technically, Jensen and Justin had been more friends-with-benefits than boyfriends, but he always got the impression that Jensen hadn’t wanted that initially. By the time Jared met Jensen, Jensen was pretty much well into his ‘no strings attached’ phase, and no trouble sleeping around. Anyway to cut a long story short, when Jared was eighteen Justin hit on him and got him to follow him home. It was the first time he’d snuck into a bar, and he’d gotten a little over enthusiastic with the $5 shots. However, he was cognizant enough to know that he did not want to have sex with Justin that night. That pissed Justin off and he’d thrown Jared out of his dorm room and gone back out, no doubt to pick up someone who was blind to the thick layer of sleaze under his thin layer of charm.

That was the night that he met Jensen, and here they are ten years later, and this time Justin might be the person to finally tear them apart. It’s kind of poetic in a way and Jared finally realises that what he wants has been right here in front of him all of this time. For the past five months, all Jensen has done is try to make up for all the things that Jared said he stopped doing. He’s _forgiven_ Jared, and all Jared’s done is find ways to hide from the truth and find ways to run away - even from what lies in his heart. Chad’s right. And what’s worse is that Jared’s moments of panic managed to distort his view of reality. Jensen hadn’t stopped noticing him, Jared just stopped _asking_ for him, and talking, he’d stopped saying what he felt, and stuck to hiding behind stupid arguments that were currently collapsing around him. Jared can’t even doubt his revelation because if there’s one thing that he knows it’s that Jensen always answers Jared’s calls; Jensen’s _always_ been there waiting in Jared’s periphery and Jared was too stupid to realise that _he’s_ the one with the power to drag him into the forefront.

By the time Jared snaps out of his thoughts, he’s standing in front of a closed door and Justin is nowhere to be seen.

He leaves.

~

Sandy's wedding is almost perfect. The flowers are pretty, the guests are seated accordingly. Chad even manages to find a tie to wear, along with black jeans and sneakers but well, he's Chad, and that counts as an effort. Jared's not even seated next to Jensen anymore, so there's no drama there. They've looked at each other at least ten times but everything is fine. As soon as Sandy gets here they'll be distracted by the ceremony and how beautiful it is and no one else will ask them what happened to _their_ wedding. Sandy is one of Jared's best friends away from their group. At one point she'd been a frequent attendee at their local bar and brunches, but that was mostly due to the crush she had on Chris. She'd joked sometimes that her and Jared were so in tune that they were even getting married at the same time (apparently a five month gap could be considered ‘close’). She is the person he'd gone to after he'd made his decision, she provided the tequila and held his hair back when it all came back up. So basically, she knows a lot about how conflicted Jared was.

When the music starts playing and there’s no sign of Sandy, Jared starts to wonder if telling her everything was a good idea. The groom-to-be, Brandon is great and Jared's already threatened him with bodily harm if he hurts her (not that he will, because Brandon is perfect). Needless to say, the wedding was supposed to start twenty minutes ago and Sandy is nowhere to be seen.

"Do something!" Katie hisses as she jabs Jared's side. Jared does not know who seated her next to him but clearly they hate him a lot.

“I don’t think Mr ‘I Jilted My Fiance’ is the best person to deliver this pep-talk,” Chris says in a surly tone, with Danneel nodding her agreement, red curls bouncing wildly as her head oscillates.

“Well, _we_ don’t know her all that well,” Katie says. “Unless you want to go and talk to her, Chris?”

“I’ll go.” Jared makes the decision quickly, rationalising that if _he’s_ the reason why she’s running scared he ought to be the one to tell her how stupid she’s being. Of course he plans on putting it in much nicer terms than that.

He finds her up in her hotel room, slumped forward in a chair by the dresser with her head in her hands. Without thinking he bursts in and says,

“Sandy, look, I get that you’re probably freaking out because well, it’s what _I_ would do - well, I guess I did freak out but that’s not the point. Well. I guess it is the point? I don’t really know, you know how bad I am at these kind of pep talks and--”

“Jared,” Sandy cuts in, with a baffled look on her face. “What are you talking about?”

“I freaked out before my wedding, Sands, and I realised today that it was all for nothing. I just let my insecurities get the better of me and now I’m stuck pretending to be friends with the man that I love more than anything, the man that I’ve always _known_ was right for me, deep down in my gut and you have that with Brandon. Don’t make the same mistake that I did.”

“Jared, sweetie, I don’t have cold feet,” Sandy says like he’s the dumbest moron alive. He probably is. “What I do have is a big, horrible tear in the train of my wedding dress.” Jared looks down instinctively and sure enough, there’s a huge, messy looking tear at the bottom of her dress. He suddenly can’t meet her eyes and he backs away slowly, not sure why he suddenly feels like he can’t breathe.

“Oh,” he says ineloquently. “I’ll just...go back then.” Jared turns around and...comes face to face with Jensen. From the look on his face, Jensen’s been there for a while and he heard what Jared said.

“Thought you might need some help,” Jensen says, by way of explanation. “We did agree to face this wedding together, didn’t we?” He’s smiling a little and Jared feels the first hint of relief running through him. Maybe, just, maybe he hasn’t screwed everything up.

“Yeah,” he says. He returns Jensen’s smile with one of his own. “Yeah, we did.”

**TBC.**


End file.
